I made this for my friend Jeff's zine Wet Cement. While not all of these things happened to me, they did happen. For the most part things that seemed horrifying at the time now seem hilarious. Unless you are one of my parents, in which case perhaps you won't get quite the kick out of this that I did. Happy Valentine's Day. Oh, and if you're looking for other gift ideas for that special someone and are fresh out of bath towels and knife handles, The Hater has some great flower suggestions.